Create Your Own Midlife Crisis

Marie Phillips

Proposal in English Humour

Have you noticed how, as an adult, every small decision you make seems to add up in increments until you find yourself in midlife somewhere very far from where you dreamed you’d be? It’s hard to recall the step by step choices that led from being a semi-happy singleton in your twenties to considering filing for divorce in your forties because your husband has come back from a solo meditation retreat convinced that raw juice enemas cure cancer. And yet the decision chain is there, if only you could remember what it was. Create Your Own Midlife Crisis offers readers the chance to have a peek down the roads not taken:

– Telling your boss where she can stick her unpaid overtime could lead to unemployment and putting all your savings into a cryptocurrency called ConCoin, or accepting burnout leave, grappling with the millennial running Occupational Health, and finding yourself on a suspiciously cult-like wellness retreat.

– You may think it is a simple matter to tell your husband that you are no longer satisfied with your sex life, but you’re only a few choices away from agreeing to try polyamory and finding yourself in a suburban swingers’ club with a minor Reality TV celebrity in a gimp suit and a fast-emerging latex allergy.

– Ever wanted to just chuck it all in and run away to Brazil? In Create Your Own Midlife Crisis you can, but beware of the little old lady in the next seat on the plane who needs a bit of help carrying a heavy bag through customs…

A spoof in line with other re-imaginings of beloved childhood books, Create Your Own Midlife Crisis will be fun to play along with, or read straight through, or dip in and out of. Every entry will be an amusing observation about the predicaments of modern life, gathering in absurdity so that minor recognisable decisions at the start can lead to crazy places by the end.